tOdAy~

sigh~ didnt felt like slping again.. actually today my mood was really bad.. before i go to the wushu class have a big quarell with all of my family about something tat not really related to me.. mayb isnt considered quarell.. i just felt very dammit stress n i yeld to all my family member.. at the end i cant hold it anymore n start tearing hard.. of course i hide myself then i hold it bfore get into my room.. therefore i cried n cried n cried.. i cried bcuz i felt tat im such a loser.. a coward.. i yeld to my dad hardly for many times.. how can i do tat n i shouldnt do tat.. no matter wat they say bout me or wat.. althought in the process i may looks like i win bcuz of my cow behaviour.. but i knew tat i lose.. lose bcuz i hurt them n i never meant to do so.. so ill start blaming my self all the way eventhought is their mizunderstood me.. well.. till now my dad nvr talk a single word to me.. wondering issit he still keep in heart or wat.. my heart still bleeding n tears just run out of my eye when i rewind back of it now.. i hope tat i can take back my word althought i nvr direct scold my dad or wat.. after reaching wuguan.. i thought tat ill b much better.. it did at the begining.. but slowly i found out tat it doesnt really tat fine.. lol.. just felt bad.. most of the time ill act dumb stupid or something else doesnt mean i do looks like tat.. i hope tat somebody will know tat im just observing n i had no point to show the real of me.. n i dont wanna ppl know me either.. is kinda funny when i found out tat ppl really play fool of me by pretending they r good.. hope tat u will found out tat this doesnt take any effects for me.. im more to pratical person.. i rather tat u dont entertaint me with ur masked heart.. ill nvr welcome it even ill get any refund.. pls dont fool around me.. the way u treat me ill know n ill act stupid or wat.. n this just show the inner ugly of urself.. i wont set any trap for u.. but ill just act normal n wont pay any trust of u anymore.. n this is ur repay.. ill cont to b ur fren.. but just a fake fren to cont fooling around.. lol.. mayb i really think too many.. but i knew tat some1 start to act like this infront of me.. the fool is urself.. but ill cont b ur fren n figure it out the real reason y u do so.. nightz to the good one n also to the fakers~ ill forgive u all always.. really.. :)